Change Your Mind, Change Your Life: Imposter Syndrome
Do you ever feel like an imposter? What is an imposter?
An imposter is someone who does not belong. They are fake. They are not real. They intrude on others. They are not genuine.
Many of us who struggle with upbringings that let to low self-esteem and low self-confidence may experience something called “Imposter Syndrome.”
Imposter syndrome refers to an internal experience where an individual doubts their accomplishments, skills, or abilities and fears being exposed as a fraud. People with imposter syndrome often believe that their achievements result from luck or external factors rather than capabilities. Imposter syndrome (IS) is a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals. These individuals cannot internalize their success and subsequently experience pervasive self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and apprehension of being exposed as a fraud in their work, despite verifiable and objective evidence of their success. The terms imposter syndrome and imposter phenomenon (IP) are used interchangeably, with IP gaining more frequent use in recent literature (Huecker, et al., 2022).
Many entrepreneurs and educators struggle with this. I still struggle from time to time. For instance, I was asked to help with book projects recently. I am a writer and have been for over thirty years. I have a book that has been published. I can formulate outlines quickly and manage projects without issues. However, in my head, I would say I am not a “professional writer.”
I also struggle to educate others on nutrition and proper healthcare practices. While I have been through many medical classes and have first-hand experience in many areas, I felt no one would listen because I did not have “Dr.” in front of my name.
When called into families to mediate for those dealing with trauma, I would say, “I am not a licensed therapist.” However, I discounted my personal experience and reliability with some people. I had to learn that I am certainly not for everyone, but I am for some.
Instead of questioning my God-given abilities because I am not [insert societal title here], I had to begin reframing my mind and learning that some of us are chosen. I don’t need ALL the credentials in every area of life to be able to speak and inspire on those subjects. I have lived it. I have knowledge and wisdom in certain areas that licensed therapists, and doctors do not.
Once we own this truth, we can replace the lie we constantly tell ourselves about who we are and the value we bring to others.
I am grateful for my family at Convene Communities. They helped me tremendously by releasing my limiting beliefs so I could help others on levels I never knew. So many people believed in me before I did. This is also why I love to be that person for others. I want to be their belief system when they are still building their own. Sometimes, we have to borrow others’ beliefs in us so we can operate to our purpose for the long term without feeling like an imposter. We are limitless. We are NOT an imposter of our goal. Please keep reading for ways to begin turning the mirror around and changing the way we think about ourselves.
Here are some key features and characteristics of imposter syndrome:
Self-Doubt: When we have imposter syndrome, we frequently doubt our competence and fear that we are not as capable as others perceive us to be.
Attribution of Success: We attribute our success to external factors like luck, timing, or other people's help rather than acknowledging their skills and hard work.
Fear of Failure: The constant fear of being exposed as a fraud or failure can lead to perfectionism and overworking to avoid making mistakes. I call this the “never getting started” syndrome. We want everything to be “perfect.” The problem here is NOTHING is EVER perfect! We will be waiting forever instead of doing our best with what we have.
Discounting Achievements: We downplay or dismiss our accomplishments, believing they were achieved by chance or not significant enough. While I have a TON of coursework under my belt, degrees, and certifications, I still felt unworthy of greatness. “Who will want me?” When we don’t value ourselves, no one else will either. Instead of looking at what we have NOT achieved, it’s time to remember what we HAVE. More than likely, you are more than enough. The only person you have to convince is yourself. At least, that’s what it has been in my case.
Overcompensation: Some individuals with imposter syndrome work excessively hard to prove their worth and maintain the appearance of competence, often at the expense of their well-being. As a female on the basketball court and then on the flight line, once I joined the Air Force, I had to work hard to “prove myself.” The problem here is this spilled over into every other area of my life. I spent so much time convincing others of my worth that I forgot who I was. I made so many mistakes in life and business that I felt like nothing I did would ever be enough. So I had to work even harder and prove myself even more. In reality, the best thing I ever did was step back and stop trying to convince others. I had to just “be.” Once I learned how to “be who I was already prepared to be,” great relationships and connections began. I know now that I still have to put effort into my crafts and sharpen my gifts. However, I do not have to “prove myself.” That was a concept I had to leave behind. This can be very difficult for females in the workforce. We are already at a disadvantage to our male counterparts. We are so much more valuable to those around us when we begin understanding that we are no less significant and are a force to be reckoned with. We bring ideas and leadership skills that men will never possess due to our nature. Instead of trying to prove ourselves, we should know our capabilities and thrive no matter where we are led.
Comparison to Others: Many of us frequently compare ourselves to others, assuming that everyone else is more intelligent, talented, or capable, further reinforcing their inadequacy. Social media makes it even easier to fall into this trap of self-doubt and comparisons. We also compare ourselves to our past selves. Here’s what we MUST consider: we are NOT anyone else AND can NOT return in time. Once we own these two things, we can prosper in our gifts. I have taken many “breaks” from social media because I felt myself falling into the comparison trap. This person’s business is thriving, while mine is not. Instead of trying to learn from them, I curl up into a ball of doubt. This person looks like this, and I don’t. This person is traveling, and I am stuck in the same place. This person is much better than me because…Comparisons are vicious cycles we can NOT allow ourselves to get into. If we make more comparisons than needed, it’s time to examine the culprit and do something different. For me, I know I can’t go back in time. However, I can pay things forward. I can share all my mistakes and lessons to help others thrive. This is how we turn those comparisons into motivation for the greater good.
Imposter syndrome can affect individuals in various areas of life, including education, career, relationships, and personal endeavors. It can be experienced by anyone, regardless of their level of success or competence. It's important to note that imposter syndrome is not a diagnosable mental disorder but a psychological phenomenon.
If you believe you are experiencing imposter syndrome, it can be helpful to acknowledge your achievements, reframe negative thoughts, seek support from trusted individuals, and engage in self-care practices. Remember that many successful and accomplished individuals have faced imposter syndrome, and you are not alone in these feelings.
If you would like some assistance in this area, please reach out. I am here to help and share the tools I have used to help me through things such as imposter syndrome. Just remember, there is only one YOU. NO ONE can take your individuality away. Society teaches us we must have certain degrees to be significant. In reality, God already made us effective. All we have to do is own that and believe it with all our hearts.
References
Huecker MR, Shreffler J, McKeny PT, et al. Imposter Phenomenon. [Updated 2022 Sep 9]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2023 Jan-. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK585058/.
