The Silent Crisis: How Social Media Fuels Mental Health Struggles Today

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When I was growing up, there were no digital distractions. We played outside as kids. Although my upbringing inside the walls of where I lived was chaotic and toxic, I knew the outdoors would give me freedom to be myself. As I got older and technology evolved, I fell into the same trap I am writing about today - the social media/comparison/anxiety trap. As social media emerged, many of us found ourselves starting out as a way to share our lives with others. Eventually, it became a trap to keep us awake all night and help make some of us feel like we would never measure up. If this is how we felt as adults, think about how our kids are feeling now. This is their lives. They are growing up with more than my generation can even begin to relate to. How do we keep this problem from getting worse?

Many of my counseling sessions with clients discuss time wasters. I used to be one who did not want to face my own reality, so I would get on social media as a way to “numb out.” I would also use it to show a life that looked great on the outside, but was falling apart on the inside. Can you relate?

I now call social media “the highlight reel.” It exists to make us think others are better off than us or to highlight parts of us we want the world to see. The problem is, if social media has a negative impact on us as adults, what does it do to our kids? If you are like me, you have a teenager who does not want to listen to anything you have to say. Nevertheless, what we have to do as adults is lead from the front. We lead by example. If we do not want our kids mindlessly scrolling and wasting time on social media, we can’t do it either. We need to practice what we preach as parents and leaders in our current mental health crisis.

In 2017, I began doing research on how technology and social media affect the brain. I realized most of the reason I was not sleeping well was due to being up on my laptop or phone while in bed at night. I never gave my brain time to rest. My brain waves stayed anxious. For those of us who are predisposed to anxiety, we become entangled in the trap of never getting adequate sleep due to not allowing our brains to shut off.

Read more to find out how and why social media is causing more anxiety in our world. Let’s ban together to lead by example and show our kids they deserve to be seen, heard, and validated just as we do. If social media is not positively fostering our growth and mental health, we need to take a good look at our habits and what we allow. What we hear and see, we become.

For those of us who run businesses, we should be using social media to help with marketing. However, we also need to set concrete boundaries so we do not fall into the trap of wasting time. We need to learn how to limit distractions and not be readily available. We need to make sure that everything we do is enhancing our business, not causing it to fail. If we can, we need to hire someone to help us.

Many people do not understand why I have chosen to run my business on the platform called Convene Communities. Most of the reason is because, first, I am not able to completely run my business from social media, which causes more anxiety for having to be multiple places. Secondly, if I am trying to help people not fall into the social media trap, why would I keep asking them to be on social media? Not only is social media contributing to our mental health crisis, it also is keeping us from consuming real information that can help us lead better lives. It contributes to a lack of patience and has not been shown to foster a fully positive and transparent environment. It is time to separate ourselves from “numbing out” and get more intentional about what we desire in life.

It’s time to get back to reality. If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling, this blog was written for you. As I mentioned before, I began working on this because I had to. I fell into the same trap. I now see my teenager falling into it. It is up to us to be the change for them. Do not get frustrated if your teen does not want to listen. Keep leading quietly. They will SEE the changes. One day, they will begin to feel as you did when you finally decided to make the change. This is what I keep at the forefront of my mind every time I want to “coach” her. She is not coachable at this time. Therefore, it is up to me to keep doing what I need to do to be the best possible version of myself.

Scrolling on social media can contribute to anxiety and mental health issues due to its role in fostering comparisons and overwhelming users with information. Research shows extensive social media use is linked to increased stress and low self-esteem. As I continued to research this topic for my own well-being, I found something called “doomscrolling.” Doomscrolling is the act of continuously scrolling through negative or distressing news and social media, often without realizing the toll it takes on mental health. This habit, along with other forms of mindless scrolling, can increase anxiety, depression, and lack of focus. The endless comparisons and harmful content overwhelm the mind, trapping users in a cycle of emotional exhaustion.

To break free from this, you can:

• Set daily screen time limits

• Turn off notifications during wind-down hours

• Use mindfulness apps or trackers to monitor habits

• Establish a calming night routine

Adverse Effects of Social Media:

1. Comparison leading to self-doubt.

• In my book, Reclaim Your Life, I talk about the “comparison trap.” We tend to see people on social media and we see their “highlight reel.” We are not seeing the back story. We are not seeing what led them to the highlight or the struggles they had to go through. All we see is the outcome. We must be willing to look beyond the highlight. If they aren’t sharing the struggles, they are only showing you a part of the story.

2. Reduced attention span.

• Have you ever noticed that, in scrolling, your attentiion span gets shorter and shorter? This causes us to not consume information correctly and can also lead to more anxiety and overwhelm. We want everything done right now and if we don’t get it done right now, we quit. We have stopped playing the long game. We have become a society of people who will waste more time and money on “magic pills that don’t exist” than a society who actually wants to be informed. Is this what we want to teach the next generations? Now we wonder why our kids are being diagnosed with ADHD and ADD. We are feeding them anxiety through DNA. It’s time we begin to create some change in this epidemic. It’s time we begin to pay attention.

3. Feelings of isolation.

• I often find myself praying for this generation. They can be around each other, but not communicate. We have become a society of people who isolate even in spaced where other people exist. Take a look around. Maybe you’re sitting at a restaurant, so you pull out your phone. Instead of having a genuine conversation with the person or people you are with, you are now isolating yourself. Prolonged isolation even in the midst of company can lead to depression and suicidal tendencies. We are meant to be in community with one another. Again, this is why I am part of Convene Communities. The platform as a whole is in alignment with everything I talk about in my videos, speaking engagements, blogs, and books. If we are not willing to begin making changes, what are we leaving behind?

Positive Effects of Social Media:

1. Staying connected with loved ones.

• This is a great reason to use social media, but we can do this without overconsumption. The best way I have found to do this is to either post and then hop off immediately, or set a timer for a few minutes. This way, I can still stay up to date with certain people, but I don’t find myself up all night or wasting time throughout the day. I am much more intentional when I use social media. If you begin to reprogram your mind and be more intentional, social media can actually be a positive tool.

2. Easy access to information.

• This is great IF we are FOLLOWING THE RIGHT PEOPLE. I say this because there is also an overabundance of information. We need to be mindful of those we follow. We need to make sure their is alignment and their mission and values are congruent to ours. Access to information can be a positive thing if we use it correctly.

3. Building support networks.

• Since Convene Communities is not a household name yet, I use social media to help build community while also using it to bring people over to my community and other communities on the Convene platform. I still want to help people, so I use social media for that reason. Again, being mindful of what we are doing and intentional about how we are doing it can be a positive thing. It’s when we are mindless and unintentional that it can become a threat to our overall well-being. Self-awareness is key.

Why Convene Communities is Different

Convene Communities stands apart from social media by offering a platform that fosters purposeful engagement and personal growth. Instead of mindless scrolling and superficial interactions, Convene encourages users to connect with intention, sharing valuable knowledge and real-life experiences that promote learning and self-improvement. This structure helps individuals grow in a meaningful way, focusing on progress rather than reinforcing negative comparisons.

Through community-driven learning, Convene empowers its users to overcome challenges together, creating accountability and fostering real relationships. This is a more impactful, growth-oriented environment than what social media platforms typically offer.

In the Step Into Your Greatness Community, I aim to create a space where individuals can find support through coaching, mentorship, and meaningful connections. By sharing my own life experiences and lessons, I hope to inspire others to overcome their challenges, fostering growth, accountability, and lasting success through intentional community building.

This environment promotes true progress, prioritizing development over comparison.

Social Media's Impact on Children

As mentioned above, this generation has far more access to the outside world than my generation did growing up. This is something we need to be aware of and consider as we bring our children up and teach them values. Children are particularly susceptible to social media's negative effects, especially when it comes to comparison and validation-seeking. Leading by example is crucial. By demonstrating how to use technology for growth and connection, parents can help their kids navigate social media more healthily. As I have seen as my daughter is getting older, they are more succeptible to the trap since this is their normal world. If we are not showing them how to lead more intentional lives, they will struggle with more mental health issues and anxiety than we ever did. Their attention spans will continue to get shorter and shorter. It is up to us, as adults and those reading this now, to begin helping our youth make positive changes for a greater future. I found myself going overboard in coaching her, thinking I was doing it for her. Now I realize I am going to have to let her learn the hard way. This is not easy for me, as a mom, to digest. However, I now know the more I work on myself, the better off she and others are. If you are someone who finds yourself “beating a dead drum” with your kids, I encourage you to save your energy. Go ahead and back off. Focus on working on yourself. Be there when they are ready. It will come. We just have to be more patient and continue to lead by example.

References:

Hunt, M. G., Marx, R., Lipson, C., & Young, J. (2018). No more FOMO: Limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 37(10), 751-768.

Primack, B. A., Shensa, A., Sidani, J. E., Whaite, E. O., Lin, L. Y., Rosen, D., & Miller, E. (2017). Social media use and perceived social isolation among young adults in the US. *American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 53(1), 1-8.

Twenge, J. M., Martin, G. N., & Campbell, W. K. (2018). Decreases in psychological well-being among American adolescents after 2012 and links to screen time during the rise of smartphone technology. Emotion, 18(6), 765-780.